I spend a lot of time informing my very minimally speaking 4 year old that he *isn’t* telepathic and that while it might seem like I can read his mind, I’m really noticing that he’s hungry/tired/bored because *insert body language here*. I often don’t know how I know what he wants or needs, other than the fact that I’ve spent nearly every moment with him since he came home from the hospital and I know him better than anyone else in the world. I can see how magical thinking could convince me of telepathy, I wish I could live in that delusion sometimes instead of a world of therapies that take up his time that he barely wants to participate in.
I’d love a magical world where we could just read each other’s minds- I’m sure it would make his life much easier & minimise communication related meltdowns!
The only song I could remember all of the words to when I was all stressed out when he was in a hospital for a prolonged time as a newborn baby was My Mother Was A Chinese Trapeze Artist so I’m just waiting for the day the little Gestalt Language Processor busts out “to the disgust of the prostitutes” while hooting his favourite lullaby at kinder. Whoops!
"When we fear something or someone or don’t understand them, there is a tendency to want to see them blessed with some kind of otherworldly power, thereby making their condition more palatable or less scary to us. But it only serves to further their otherness..." Anyone who doubts the real power of our Jewish space lasers does so at their own risk. :-)
In seriousness, othering is the name of the Trump game. It's going to be a very short time until every single person in this country belongs to a targeted group or is close to someone who does. Claiming that people with autism are telepathic is one step away from denying them needed services because they can communicate if they want to, right?
I know what it feels like to be at the receiving end of othering. And I choose not to use the privileges I do have to scorn the identities that people in our many communties value about themselves. I don't need to assign hateful people to an identity for me to know that they are hateful and dangerous. Their behavior identifies them over and over.
Hear hear, Colin! As someone who has been teaching for 35 years, first as a special educator and then in gen ed, I can say that I have heard most of the wacky and sometimes dangerous theories about the abilities (and disabilities) of neurodivergent children and adults. My greatest successes have come from accepting my students for who they are now and being able to see their potential.
This was tough to read and I imagine to write. I can only empathize and do my part to be proactively supportive, aware and guided by reason not fear every day. And make sure my resistance to this regime leaves no human being behind. I still believe there are more of us and humanity will win out. Having these personal perspectives to ground us will be so important.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!
The parents who spit this drivel are almost always the same exact who will not think twice about posting videos of their autistic child's meltdowns on social media with nauseating captions like "WE had a hard day!", of course without their consent.
Not only does this horrific trend continue to other us while dismissing and erasing our very real and very deep need for accommodations, visibility, and acceptance, it opens the door WIDE for abuse by a parent who, by claiming "telepathy" now has ultimate control by conventiantly being able to claim their child is communicating with them. Absolutely horrifying stuff. I'm so so so glad you spoke on this.
Aside from the NeuroTribes book referenced by Jenny, what other materials would you recommend for someone looking to learn more about the autistic community? Would be interested in understanding more about your own journey and what helped you better understand how to adapt your approach with communication, parenting, etc.
Have you read Andrew Solomon's "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity"? It taught me so much and Solomon is so respectful of and compassionate towards his subjects.
Colin - Thank you, Thank you! Loving an autistic kid is a strange enough journey. But telepathic? FFS! My guy is 27 yrs old and is my moon, sun and stars, but this autism business is not for the feint of heart. Btw- saw you in Denver this summer and you fucking rocked the house! Our favorite Decemberists performance yet!
This article got me to subscribe 🙏 just to say THANK YOU for articulating what I felt when people kept sending me msgs "have you heard this podcast Omg mind blowing!" No. It is NOT. Like the parent who commented above I agree sometimes it feels like my son and I read each other's minds but that is because non-verbal people are incredibly tuned into body language and facial expressions and I'm just tuned in to his needs (mostly... Not always). Harumph. Thanks for the chance to vent. Love from Ireland.
Thank you.
I spend a lot of time informing my very minimally speaking 4 year old that he *isn’t* telepathic and that while it might seem like I can read his mind, I’m really noticing that he’s hungry/tired/bored because *insert body language here*. I often don’t know how I know what he wants or needs, other than the fact that I’ve spent nearly every moment with him since he came home from the hospital and I know him better than anyone else in the world. I can see how magical thinking could convince me of telepathy, I wish I could live in that delusion sometimes instead of a world of therapies that take up his time that he barely wants to participate in.
I’d love a magical world where we could just read each other’s minds- I’m sure it would make his life much easier & minimise communication related meltdowns!
Oh man I’ve been there. Onward!!!
The only song I could remember all of the words to when I was all stressed out when he was in a hospital for a prolonged time as a newborn baby was My Mother Was A Chinese Trapeze Artist so I’m just waiting for the day the little Gestalt Language Processor busts out “to the disgust of the prostitutes” while hooting his favourite lullaby at kinder. Whoops!
From an autistic adult, boy HOWDIE would I also love some sort of communication decoder 🤣
Hyperlexic auDHD mum 🤝 low-spoken word kiddo
I feel ya 💖
"When we fear something or someone or don’t understand them, there is a tendency to want to see them blessed with some kind of otherworldly power, thereby making their condition more palatable or less scary to us. But it only serves to further their otherness..." Anyone who doubts the real power of our Jewish space lasers does so at their own risk. :-)
In seriousness, othering is the name of the Trump game. It's going to be a very short time until every single person in this country belongs to a targeted group or is close to someone who does. Claiming that people with autism are telepathic is one step away from denying them needed services because they can communicate if they want to, right?
I know what it feels like to be at the receiving end of othering. And I choose not to use the privileges I do have to scorn the identities that people in our many communties value about themselves. I don't need to assign hateful people to an identity for me to know that they are hateful and dangerous. Their behavior identifies them over and over.
Hear hear, Colin! As someone who has been teaching for 35 years, first as a special educator and then in gen ed, I can say that I have heard most of the wacky and sometimes dangerous theories about the abilities (and disabilities) of neurodivergent children and adults. My greatest successes have come from accepting my students for who they are now and being able to see their potential.
I want to thank you for previously recommending Silberman's NeuroTribes. I learned a ton!
This was tough to read and I imagine to write. I can only empathize and do my part to be proactively supportive, aware and guided by reason not fear every day. And make sure my resistance to this regime leaves no human being behind. I still believe there are more of us and humanity will win out. Having these personal perspectives to ground us will be so important.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!
The parents who spit this drivel are almost always the same exact who will not think twice about posting videos of their autistic child's meltdowns on social media with nauseating captions like "WE had a hard day!", of course without their consent.
Not only does this horrific trend continue to other us while dismissing and erasing our very real and very deep need for accommodations, visibility, and acceptance, it opens the door WIDE for abuse by a parent who, by claiming "telepathy" now has ultimate control by conventiantly being able to claim their child is communicating with them. Absolutely horrifying stuff. I'm so so so glad you spoke on this.
Aside from the NeuroTribes book referenced by Jenny, what other materials would you recommend for someone looking to learn more about the autistic community? Would be interested in understanding more about your own journey and what helped you better understand how to adapt your approach with communication, parenting, etc.
Have you read Andrew Solomon's "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity"? It taught me so much and Solomon is so respectful of and compassionate towards his subjects.
This is a good one
Colin - Thank you, Thank you! Loving an autistic kid is a strange enough journey. But telepathic? FFS! My guy is 27 yrs old and is my moon, sun and stars, but this autism business is not for the feint of heart. Btw- saw you in Denver this summer and you fucking rocked the house! Our favorite Decemberists performance yet!
This article got me to subscribe 🙏 just to say THANK YOU for articulating what I felt when people kept sending me msgs "have you heard this podcast Omg mind blowing!" No. It is NOT. Like the parent who commented above I agree sometimes it feels like my son and I read each other's minds but that is because non-verbal people are incredibly tuned into body language and facial expressions and I'm just tuned in to his needs (mostly... Not always). Harumph. Thanks for the chance to vent. Love from Ireland.
A wonderful piece of writing. Thank you for sharing.